San Jose, 6:30 AM

Local nerd spots adult male (late 30's, reasonably attractive) roller blading down the middle of the street. Subject is dressed in what appears to be a complete roller hockey uniform - red and black jersey, long shorts, nice skates - complete with gloves and stick. He nodded sheepishly as I biked past him.

College kid, grabbing a doughnut from a dining hall you've never set foot in, do not worry! City dweller, catching the subway from an unfamiliar stop, have no fear! We have found a local minimum for the morning after Walk/Skate of Shame, and you are nowhere close.